A no-feel Sexxit? UK reintroduces sprawling casual-sex ban amid nationwide lockdown ramp-up

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While the UK’s strict lockdown requirements initially banned people from different households from having sex in June, triggering widespread indignation, Downing Street relaxed the ban later that month, “freeing” individuals living alone to get busy without government interference as long as one of them lived alone, and made the loopholes official last month. Under the revised regulations, people in an “established relationship” were allowed to enjoy each others’ company without the risk of Big Brother breaking them up – though technically “casual sex” was still illegal.

Health Secretary Matt Hancock has repeatedly struggled to defend London’s fluid policies without blushing and giggling, and so-called ‘Professor Lockdown’ Neil Ferguson dealt the absurd rules at least a temporary death blow when he was caught violating the regulations he had championed in May to engage in extramarital trysts with his lover.

However, the recently-introduced tier system, with its color coding so reminiscent of the US’ “terror warning level,” has brought Big Brother back into the bedroom in full force.

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